Lifer Movies

Title: Thursday Rating: 4/5 Genre: Action, Crime, Comedy Starring: Thomas Jane, Aaron Eckhart Director: Skip Woods Why this film isn't better known is completely beyond me. It doesn't look particularly low budget – though admittedly a lot of that's to do with the fact it doesn't do an awful lot that requires excessive funds – nor are the actors unknown, particularly not now that Eckhart has found fame in the Batman Trilogy. The only reason I could find was the lack of box office success due to only opening on a handful of screens, which seems like a bit of a stupid thing to do – creating a film then hiding it away from anyone – and in the days of the internet where forgotten classics are dredged up from the abyss as a matter of course, it boggles the mind that the Tarantino fans haven't latched onto this as well given that the similarities are there, particularly when compared to his earlier work, retaining just enough of a unique style to not be a branded as ...

Title: The Disappearance of Alice Creed Rating: 3/5 Genre: Crime, Thriller Starring: Gemma Arterton, Eddie Marsan, Martin Compston Director: J Blakeson When trying to compete on Hollywood's level with the budget, you need to build your film from the ground up. It's no use coming up with an elaborate script only to discover you haven't the funds to do it properly, so in these cases, less can most definitely be more. This tale is perfect for such ambitions, involving just three cast members, no extra's, no props that can't be bought from a shopping centre, and only three locations, only one of which really felt like it was used extensively. Sadly, short of telling you that this film involves one wealthy millionaires daughter, Alice Creed, being kidnapped and held for ransom by two men, Vic and Danny, who have meticulously plotted and planned this, elaborating on the plot would be giving away far too much. It constantly twists and turns and yields another point...

Title: The Raid Rating: 4.5/5 Genre: Action Starring: Iko Uwais, Ananda George, Ray Sahetapy Director: Gareth Evans Language: Indonesian There seems to be a trend that is occurring in modern action films, the last decade or so seeing a steady rise in 'intelligent action' where plots have their twists, characters are portrayed as gritty and realistic with emotional problems to face and villains, too, have their own twisted desires on display, their long and elaborate speeches preparing you for what's to follow. This is not such a film, taking us back in time to the 90s where the genre didn't always make a lot of sense, where characters were ridiculous in their ability to do what no human should be capable of doing; fighting with injuries that should have long since killed them and a never ending barrage of enemies springing out at every moment. Barely a minute goes by without some sort of weapon flying, gun firing or martial arts stunt is pulled off with precisio...

Title: Dirt (Dumber than Dirt) Rating: 3.5/5 Genre: Black Comedy Starring: Tracy Fraim, Michael Covert, Tara Chocol Director: Michael Covert, Tracy Fraim It isn't often that I feel the urge to watch a comedy, and so you'd probably think when the desire swings my way I'd be spoilt for choice. You'd be wrong. Comedies so often seem to re-use stale jokes and I seem to have a very specific – specifically crude – taste in humour. If it's a 'boy meets girl' story it's out. If it's about a talking animal, it's out. If, for any reason there's a frat boy that says 'dude,' out. Is it any wonder the last film reviewed entirely played for laughs was about a junkie elephant with crack in his ass . And so with my very limited choices I come across a promising indie title; a tale of two brothers in their late thirties wholly dependant on their mother to cook and clean for them, and when she passes on it isn't long before they realise they...

Title: A Lure: Teen Fight Club Rating: 2.5/5 Genre: Crime, Drama Starring: Jessica Sonneborn, Michael McLafferty, Paulie Rojas Director: Bill McAdams Jr. You'd think with a title like that it'd be pretty hard to go too far wrong; a film about a fight club with teenage girls beating the crap out of each other. What part of this sounds bad? Malicious bad guys dressing them and giving them fun persona's; it's not too far removed from what made “Sucker Punch” so fun to watch, except here they're fighting one another! Or at least, that's what I expected. When young teenagers are mysteriously disappearing from a local high school, it's down to Maggie, a local cop, to go undercover and infiltrate the school to uncover the dark truth. Donning her hockey uniform, she impressively manages to convince the school effortlessly that she's new in town and not a woman of her early thirties, finding herself the target of the local popular clique of teens because s...

Title: The Shinjuku Incident Rating: 3.5/5 Genre: Crime, Drama, Thriller Starring: Jackie Chan Director: Derek Yee Language: Chinese / Japanese I'll admit I never really followed Jackie Chan's career so what was news to me might not be to others; that he hadn't abandoned Chinese cinema for Hollywood tripe but rather was still active in both worlds, producing and starring in this film. Surprisingly, it never feels as self-indulgent as it easily could have, re-living his classic martial arts days, but instead there is not a karate kick in sight. In fact this is a very different role for him from what we would expect, as what he's created is a Chinese film about a side of Asia not too unfamiliar to a Western audience, based on actual events that occurred in Shinjuku, and hence has an almost Hollywood vibe to it all as he tackles an issue unique to no single country. For this is a tale about immigrants, following the path of one as he navigates his way to Tokyo an...

Title: I Saw The Devil Rating: 4/5 Genre: Action, Crime, Horror, Thriller Starring: Byung-hun Lee, Min-sik Choi, Gook-hwan Jeon Director: Kim Jee-Woon Korea might not have the largest film industry, they may not have the most money to flash around on CGI, or the greatest number of films being released, but once again i've discovered proof that they have one of the strongest film industries and much of that is thanks to just three directors; Chan Wook-Park, Joon Bong-Ho, and this films very own Kim Jee-Woon, who is perhaps the weakest link in all of this and still capable of producing works others would be proud to call their magnum opus. This is the depraved tale of a serial killer whom the police have failed to catch, letting him roam free to commit atrocity again and again, choosing young women as his target of choice, except it was bound to be only a matter of time before he chose the wrong woman. Fiancée to a man on the other side, a special agent who devotes his attenti...

Title: The Breed (2001) Rating: 3.5/5 Genre: Action, Crime, Mystery Starring: Adrian Paul, Bokeem Woodbine, Bai Ling Director: Michael Oblowitz Ah the old classic crime format, taking two new cops with different attitudes to the job and slamming them together to watch the consequences as they hunt for the bad guy. Sometimes it ends up (trying to be) comical as in “Rush Hour,” and sometimes it ends up a cheese filled action classic like “Lethal Weapon.” Even rarer are the times it'll touch upon something great such as of “Se7en” or to a lesser extent “Training Day.” But this is a b-movie, so it will clearly need a far more obvious twist; here we have the big black arrogant cop partnered with the placid, cold and calculating officer, chalk and cheese, playing off one another and contrasting as the events unfold, their overt differences helping create the illusion that there are more detailed characters on display than there actually are. Oh, and the straight man also happens t...

Title: Suicide Club (Suicide Circle) Rating: 3/5 Genre: Crime, Drama, Horror Starring: Ryo Ishibashi, Masatoshi Nagase, Mai Hosho Director: Sion Sono Language: Japanese Continuing my day exploring the work of the man I currently consider the 'next Takeshi Miike' comes one of his earlier, and still best known works. Famous for it's opening, where we see a rather disconcerting and blood-laden scene of 54 happy go lucky high school girls, chatting, laughing, and jumping in front of trains. You heard me correctly; within in a few minutes you'll know precisely if you're too squeamish to deal with the contents of this low-budget flick – although the graphic scenes don't take precedence as in most horror films – as it treads its course of exploration of the little discussed subject. Following the police as they dig deeper into the mystery surrounding a suicide of this quantity and the ensuing chaos; copy cat 'clubs' following suit in this dangerous new ...

Title: Crazed Beast Original Title: Kurutta yajû Rating: 2.5/5 Genre: Crime, Thriller (Comedy) Director: Sadao Nakajima Starring: Tsunehiko Watase, Jun Hoshino, Takuzo Kawatani Language: Japanese (Mockdubbed) I like to think that I succeed in doing my part in uncovering forgotten films of the past wherever I can, whether better left forgotten or not, but with this one I feel as though I've really outdone myself; a 70s rarity that is somewhat surprising it even managed to find its way to a DVD, even if it never left the country, which means you better believe it doesn't come with subtitles. In fact, there are probably no subtitles for it in existence and not the interest in creating them, but don't let this minor quibble trouble you for where there is a will and a potentially mentally unstable film nut there is a way. Submitted to the nicely titled “My Uploads Are Total Fucking Failures And No One Loves Me” (MUATTFANOLM) competition on the source of most of my depra...

Title: Teenage Hooker Becomes a Killing Machine Rating: 2/5 Genre: Crime, Drama, Sci-Fi Starring: Dae-tong Kim, So-yun Lee Director: Gee-woong Nam Language: Korean This has to rank as one of my most unusual DVD acquisitions; found sealed amidst a sea of my friends collection of martial arts flicks and bad Blu-Ray blockbusters this oddball sticking out like a sore thumb. Consequently it was watched and then when it was all over, rescued from being flung across the room in the vague direction of the bin like a frisbee. This isn't exactly the easiest film to understand and whilst the title is rather apt, it alludes to low-budget gory promises perhaps reminiscent of the plethora of Japanese counterparts being produced that is never fulfilled. This film is Korean, and calling it 'a little strange' would be like referring to the works of David Lynch as 'unusual,' with all the Eraserhead oddities intentionally implied by such a comparison. You'd think such a ...

Title: Demolition Man Rating: 4/5 Genre: Action, Crime, Sci-Fi Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock Director: Marco Brambilla Some films shouldn't really need an introduction; action films that have long since earned their way into 'classic' status and as much as all the “Die Hard” and “Rambo” flicks of the world, Demolition Man assuredly is equally deserving of that lofty title. The clash of the two action titans: Stallone vs Snipes, pitted against each other against the colourful backdrop of a futuristic utopia where police have all but forgotten how to actually combat crime; Snipes armed with all the power and knowledge afforded to him by a corrupt government through implantation and Stallone thawed from cryostasis to bring him down once again, armed with the power to...uhhh...knit? It all kicks off when Simon Phoenix (Snipes) is given a parole hearing after being incarcerated in cryostasis for thirty years and given the knowledge to escap...