Title: Andromeda Strain (remake)
Rating: 3.5/5
Genre: Sci-fi, Drama, Thriller
Starring: Benjamin Bratt, Daniel Dae-Kim, Eric McCormack
Director: Ridley Scott, Tony Scott
A review I wasn't gonna write until I realised just how slow work was going to be; whether you want to call this a film or a mini-series is up to you. Certainly there are budgetary concerns with many of those involved more used to TV work over feature films, and the expected midpoint cliffhanger, but at just under 3 hours long, happily works as a long film. And it's not slow and drawn out like you may expect from a long film, rather it takes inspiration from the original, as well as the Michael Crichton book and tries to do them both justice in terms of tone and atmosphere, also taking liberties with the original story (a sure fire way to disgruntle many a fan of the original), asking questions around the subject and this mysterious disease and then consequently answering them (for better or for worse), and perhaps most importantly, carefully considers the role of technology - the lab taking a character of its own - and adapting and updating it for what we now know to exist.On the surface it might seem a little simplistic; a foreign satellite crashing near Utah, taken to a small town and then unwittingly opened allowing for this disease, Andromeda, to spark a national threat, but this is only the skeleton of whats on display here. Killing all in its path in a matter of moments, its up to wildfire; a team of voluntary scientists sent off to a secret
underground laboratory with the intent of preventing unknown biological threats, to try to kill it before its too late.As you might expect, much of the script takes place in the lab which could easily get monotonous if not for the second story thread taking us to the action; a journalist fighting the government for any scrap of information he can glean from this deadly threat thats being swept under the carpet by the government. Yes, this does feel a little unnecessary, as if fearing all the science talk would offend viewers so decides to compensate by allowing for a man to run between various deadly situations and explosions when really what they needed was a scientist on the team to yell at the writers (using 'lightyears' as a measure of time, I mean really), and whilst it doesn't constitute a deal breaker, some of the constant 'government conspiracy' theories can sound like you're listening to the rants of a lone conspiracy nut claiming the president is an alien lizard man from the second moon of jupiter sent to infiltrate mankind or something.
It tries to do a lot with the subject matter, from the rather blunt moral of preserving natural resources to the ultimately subtler subplot surrounding the freedom of the press and the powers available to them in this power play between journalist and government, one trying to contain the secret and another trying to reveal it to the people. Both sides have their reasons for doing so, and so you never quite manage to figure out which one can lay claim to the moral high ground. The fact that it elaborates on the disease, constantly tossing up question after question and adding to the mystery of what andromeda truly is makes the whole piece so intensely enjoyable to watch and hence such a shame to see fall apart so completely at the last hurdle.
Things I assume they couldn't explain got forgotten, subplots were ignored, killing people off for no apparent reason; its as though they forgot to include scenes explaining whats going on, like this was just a draft that needed editing for slip ups before being shown to the public. The final explanation for andromeda, too, feels like the writers were trying too hard to find a reason for its existence and results in a twist that feels too far fetched to maintain the illusion. Its just there to tie up some loose ends when it would be better to leave it unanswered as in the original, to let the audience think and decide for themselves. Its a solid remake with a strong cast and up to this point a well paced script. Its a shame that it all went tits up in the end.
Ah glorious is the day I discover we get all the movie channels at work, and still this is the best I can come up with; a remake of a film that, if I'm honest, I was never too enamoured with though I wont deny its position as a quintessential slasher flick that went a long way to defining the genre. Just one of a number of horror films that have been revisited by Hollywood in recent years, it's not an idea i've ever enjoyed much, just proving the lack of cinematic ideas and the drive for a cash in, making a film they know at worst will make its money back due to sheer morbid curiousity as to how badly they'll screw up this time. The premise for those who don't remember it is simple; the mass murderer Freddy Kroeger already met his grizzly fate, but even in death manages to find his revenge on all those who wronged him by attacking them in their dreams. And thus the stage is set for young teens to be killed in horrific ways, and there is no way to stop him, or so it seems...
Likewise, the film has been stripped from the camp cheesiness that makes much of these 80s flicks so much fun to revisit, particularly as we get to the later entries in this series. I don't often watch these sorts of films because I know what to expect, and this seems like another great example. They're trying to remake a film in all its glory with a new cast, bigger budget, and no new ideas. It can at best be almost as good as the original, but this isn't even that. The death sequences at mostly just remind you how great the originals were by comparison, the new Kroeger pales in comparison to Robert Englund's iconic character, the gore is generic and limited to CGI and blood packs, and everything in between feels like just an interlude between what we came to see. There may be some fun deaths, if nothing particularly unique, and it may not be slow paced, but you never do shake the feeling that you're just waiting for the good bit to happen.
Despite my usual apparent dislike for many mainstream efforts, the first part of this saga proved itself to be well thought out, and whilst being a shade predictable, never quite pandered to cliché. Quite impressive considering it was a film about women - none of who get their tits out - trying to escape a cave with what can only be called 'rock monsters' on their tail. Perhaps it was that they seem to have made something good out of what looked like a worrying premise that kept me away from this film. Perhaps it was the dreaded sequel syndrome. I honestly can't remember, but picking up where the last one left off, it certainly does feel like... well a sequel, with all the usual problems.
trap, but its major downfall is that it simply isn't original. There's nothing new that's really brought to the table, it's to the original what 'Hostel Part 2' was to 'Hostel;' same shit, different people. They've taken a formula and not fucked around with it. Yes it's a bit of a cash in, trying to scare you in the same way twice, and that it's so unoriginal is perhaps why they haven't asked for a third. The new director has made a decent imitation of the first and certainly it could have been worse, but that's largely what it is. An imitation. Someone trying to recreate the original, and in the process forgetting the claustrophobia and suspenseful character development to cut right to the chase. If you've seen the first then there's nothing new to be found here. Sequel syndrome strikes again...
Lets for the sake of argument ignore that the entire initial premise of this is pretty much a load of bollocks; that the Mayans predicted the end of anything except their calender (though that was only one throwaway line admittedly) or that the sun will ever randomly decide to start firing mutated neutrino's - whatever the hell they meant by that - that act like microwaves but only to the earths core, and not the surface. Lets gloss over this plot that a remedial high schooler could pick apart and move right on to all the other problems with this film that ought to be mentioned.
The rest of the plot is, well there is none. It's a combination of melodrama, bad puns and a CGI enthusiast's wet dream. In fairness, the effects are often quite impressively done from a technical standpoint, demonstrating they had no shortage of money to toss into their laps, each time a distance shot of some landmark toppling over, exploding nonsensically, sinking, or otherwise being destroyed. Something like a dozen such landmarks get demolished, each time in a similar looking fashion using whatever method they established looked good enough from a distance.
It can't decide whether it wants to be serious or - as I suspect some of the writers thought it was intended to be - a joke, with little puns such as a running gag about a pilot who isn't actually a pilot. They aren't particularly amusing but certainly seem a lot more fitting than trying to go for a sense of mass drama despite in hollywood style, nobody we're meant to really care about dying and everyone we're meant to care about surviving through long sequences of one-in-a-million miracles, crazy idea's and a healthy dose of luck. I spent half the film waiting for R.E.M. to jump out and start singing 'It's the End of the World as We Know it,' signifying that the director isn't this talentless; that he didn't accidentally wipe his ass with so many dollar bills and hire an all star cast for anything less than the most elaborate 2 and a half hour joke Hollywood has ever devised, a true 'gotcha' moment that would spin you around, make you realise that it was intended to be this bad from the very beginning. Alas, this moment never came. Yup, it's pretty bad...
Helmed by the man responsible for both 'Versus' and 'Azumi,' two of my favourite Japanese action flicks, I decided to save this one, sure that once again he would deliver the goods. But actually, far from being epic it's rather disappointing, and there's nobody else that can really take the blame for this one. Let me get on with describing the plot and perhaps you'll see what I mean.
These are the guardians tasked with taking care of the gate to hell, and of those who have died at anothers hand to offer them the choice: to accept their fate and go to heaven and await the rebirth, to roam the earth as a ghost, or to curse another and send you both to the fiery pits of hell. But first you get a couple of weeks to check up on the world without you. And so they watch as Kudo roams the earth, getting his secretary to do the actual killing - well he doesn't want to go to hell does he - and taking the hearts of all those he needs to in his sinister plan to bring hell on earth in the name of love, each new victim bringing him closer to his goal, and its only our young detective who can stop him.
nature of his other work. It's neither realistic nor tension inducing, the participants clumsily carrying out their choregraphed moves in a slow, obvious and unconvincing manner - it's clear only one of them had ever picked up a sword before, why they didn't give the rest some training is beyond me - spending more time posing like some sort of model rather than giving us a decent fight, and this is frankly the last problem i'd have expected from him. Shrouded in this detailed excuse for an action film are some half-baked messages about the corruption of power and the limitations of our humanity, wrapped up in a plot that ties in a number of old ideas to make it seems as complex as possible; ultimately this was a pretty disappointing result.
One of those films that once you'd heard about knew it was only a matter of time, from the man who gave us the hilarious low budget flick 'Evil Aliens' comes another tale so depraved and sordid you'd think it would be Japanese, if y'know, Danny Dyer wasn't in it. Instead it's gloriously British; a film following in the footsteps of '28 days later' and 'Shaun of the Dead' yet of a different breed once again, happily spoofing the genre and giving rise to plenty of puns at womens expense. It all kicks off with Vince and his messy divorce, down and depressed and so it's up to his mates to cheer him up, dragging him out on a lads weekend to a town in the middle of nowhere, where the women outnumber the men 4:1, but when they arrive they quickly realise somethings wrong, as these women have quite a literal take on a 'bloody' good time...
select scenes but for the most part, what he's succeeded in creating is nothing short of what you'd expect from a more mainstream flick. There is a strong sense of trying to avoid the use of CGI in favour of physical effects and the result serves as a good reminder as to why it should serve as a last resort rather than a general purpose answer which it often seems to be treated as these days. In fact, the mainstream seems to be precisely what he's aiming for, but for all the polish and refined elements, and maybe holding back just a little, he's still going to do it his own way. The very concept is one that feels unique - a virus that only affects one gender - and here gets used to great effect. There are an ever growing number of zombie comedies, and whilst doing nothing too groundbreaking, fans of the genre have nothing to lose by adding this one to the list.
Is it like "30 Days of Night?" Or is it another "Twilight?" This is the sort of question that every vampire flick gets asked these days, and despite pre-dating them both, the closest answer is that it's actually a little bit of each. Vampires are probably the most common mythical creature employed by horror films, except perhaps zombies for the perceived lack of thought required to make a zombie flick (not if you dont want it to be shit dumbass!) because of the versatility they can represent. The mysterious entity living in the shadows, hiding from man but plaguing us without our knowledge. It's this that keeps vampire films alive and this that you'd think might have something to do with this films creation. But no, this is far too much fun for that. Set in the arctic northern wastelands of Sweden, where the month of darkness reigns and vampires can come out to play, and where better than at a high school, taking advantage of all the pretty high school girls? When the new girl, Saga, is forced to move to this town in the middle of nowhere by her mother hoping to study under the guidance of a brilliant geneticist. Fortunately Saga is quickly shown around and invited to a party by new goth friend Vega; a party to end all parties. Well she was certainly right about that...
light on the actual horror. Despite a large cast of attractive Swedes, theres no nudity whatsoever, which i thought was half the point in casting adults to play teenagers, and nothing in the script ever comes closes to feeling shocking. The best I can compare it to is those so called 'horror' flicks that get a 12 rating; if there was anything even remotely horrific here it's long since been removed. The result is that this film feels just a little pointless, and ends far too abruptly, but as a fun film to watch with friends (assuming you have friends who don't make arguments like 'why would I pay to read?' when you mention it has subtitles) and throw popcorn at, it'll hold up pretty well. Frostbite is defiantly a thought free zone...
A film title can often tell you an awful lot about the kind of flick you can expect; a cheesy one, artsy, depressing, pretentious. The title here seems pretty obvious what sort of film this should be. It's not got a pretentious name, it's motherfucking cowboys vs motherfuckin' aliens; more 'Fast and the Furious' or 'Snakes on a Plane than anything that takes itself too seriously, and this is exactly what I was hoping for. Plenty of comic moments, cheesy one liners and manic mayhem in this unusual match-up, but it doesn't seem as though everyone was on the same page.
like a WWF grudge match from hell, and it takes a good 45mins before we see much of the aliens at all.
vs western mash-up and sadly, what should have been its main purpose feels lacking until those final moments. The concept is cheesy, impossibly, absurdly unrealistic by it's very nature and it's played with such serious conviction that it seems silly, like a joke nobody let them in on. It's by no means a bad film, I just think they should have picked a direction; I was expecting a mindless fun filled action flick, but instead they've tried to make it into an epic and dramatic action/adventure. By spreading themselves so broad, it tends to at times feel a little inconsistent. The result? It could have been better, but it certainly could have just as easily been a lot worse.
I'll admit I never really followed Jackie Chan's career so what was news to me might not be to others; that he hadn't abandoned Chinese cinema for Hollywood tripe but rather was still active in both worlds, producing and starring in this film. Surprisingly, it never feels as self-indulgent as it easily could have, re-living his classic martial arts days, but instead there is not a karate kick in sight. In fact this is a very different role for him from what we would expect, as what he's created is a Chinese film about a side of Asia not too unfamiliar to a Western audience, based on actual events that occurred in Shinjuku, and hence has an almost Hollywood vibe to it all as he tackles an issue unique to no single country.
The scope of this film and all the factions; the Taiwanese, Yakuza and the key members balancing on the knife edge of civil war, how the police factor in amidst the rise of the Chinese gang; it's all remarkably complex, and all too easy to lose a snippet of conversation or forget a face and be lost in all the politics, whose doing deals with who and which faction they're keeping it from. It's an interesting and - without knowing the details of the underground crime syndicates in Tokyo - certainly plausible, the immigrant sector flooding with small pockets vying for control, but not enough is done to make it all any the less confusing.
perfectly, does what they could with the script never allowing them enough as characters; the trade off of it being cut shorter is that the action is never far away, hurtling forward with an impressive frenetic momentum. There may not be the karate kicks of what we would usually expect but this just improves the tension; that our protagonist is human, fighting and getting injured in a realistic manner and lending a certain unpredictable element to how things unfold. This film at times feels like it could have been the Chinese' answer to 'Scarface;' the immigrants rise to power, how that power corrupts, and the invariable perils that ensue. It's a difficult film to follow, and whilst not bad, never feels like it's adding anything particularly new and falls short of everything it could have been.
Korea might not have the largest film industry, they may not have the most money to flash around on CGI, or the greatest number of films being released, but once again i've discovered proof that they have one of the strongest film industries and much of that is thanks to just three directors; Chan Wook-Park, Joon Bong-Ho, and this films very own Kim Jee-Woon, who is perhaps the weakest link in all of this and still capable of producing works others would be proud to call their magnum opus. This is the depraved tale of a serial killer whom the police have failed to catch, letting him roam free to commit atrocity again and again, choosing young women as his target of choice, except it was bound to be only a matter of time before he chose the wrong woman. Fiancée to a man on the other side, a special agent who devotes his attention to delivering the exact same punishment to him as he dealt to his darling beloved. On ensues the bloody game of cat and mouse, the serial killer now a dangerous prey for our hunter, catching him and releasing him, toying and playing with his catch in his sadistic revenge.
all shot without CGI where possible and taking care over the cinematography, yielding a dark sense of realism and never shying away to show you as many of the gritty details as you bare see through the gaps in your fingers. Things like character development all but get thrown out the window in this unrelenting quest for brutality; our serial killer given no real motive for his actions, just that these are his actions and the consequences they have brought down upon himself. There's no mention of their past or their lives previous to their fateful encounter; the characters are woefully underdeveloped and as a result struggles to try to compensate by its sheer visceral nature.
whilst it proudly stands amongst them, does little to truly make it stand apart as one of the best.
