Lifer Movies

Title: Ravager Rating: 1.5/5 Genre: Sci-Fi, Horror Starring: Juliet Landau, Bruce Payne, Yancy Butler Director: James D. Deck It has been some time since Landau stole my heart as the delightfully insane “Drusilla” from Buffy/Angel, and her presence was surely enough to make me want to bump this on my list. Sadly, her role seems to be rather minimal, which comes as a shame given that her character could have lent something interesting to the plot, which is after all is said and done, almost completely devoid of interesting occurrences. Interestingly, it also features “Robin Sachs,” who also can claim Buffy as his claim to fame, playing the minor character of Ethan Rayne or “Ripper” there, and a supposedly brilliant doctor here. Or at least, he would be a brilliant doctor if he wasn't addicted to futuristic heroin. But let me back up for a moment to explain what it's all about; being a sci-fi flick, the best place to hold it naturally is aboard a space ship. Destined for...

Title: Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam (The Man Who Saved the Earth) Also known as: Turkish Star Wars Rating: 3.5/5 Genre: Action, Sci-Fi, Adventure (Comedy) Starring: Cüneyt Arkin, Aytekin Akkaya Director: Çetin Inanç Language: Turkish “Maybe we landed on a planet entirely populated by women" "Then maybe I should lead" "Hmmm, ok. But don't forget to walk cool” Infamously named for lifting footage straight from “Star Wars IV:A New Hope,” and not even done subtly, this is the only Turkish film I know of, and presumably was considered to be so awful that it wasn't worth anybodies time to follow up with a lawsuit. Clearly given the budget shown they wouldn't have got much in the way of monetary compensation at any rate. In fact, for a time it was considered by IMDB to be one of the worst films ever created, but fortunately it falls into that category of awful that also happens to be hilarious. Call me crazy, but seeing Turkish guys crying out “Tornado 2!...

Title: Die Säge des Todes (aka Bloody Moon) (1981) Rating: 2.5/5 Genre: Horror Starring: Olivia Pascal, Nadja Gerganoff, Alexander Waechter Director: Jess Franco Duration: 81 minutes Country: (West) Germany Five years after he murdered a young girl at a party, incestuous and deformed Miguel is released to his sister, Manuela, and his paranoid contessa aunt in time for their opening of a new boarding school for foreign language. With the school soon populated by nubile young adults, a series of brutal murders are coincidentally breaking out on and off campus. But who could be the killer? The not-so-rehabilitated Miguel? The voyeuristic retard? The ladies man Antonio? Manuela, who is openly despised by her aunt? Or could this all be in the imagination of student Angela? Die Säge des Todes (The Saw of Death) is a film by the Spanish master of sleazy erotica and zoom lenses, Jess Franco, made to cash in on the American slasher movie craze that was exploding during this part of t...

Title: Monster Rating: 4.5/5 Genre: Psychological Drama, Horror, Thriller, Mystery Director: Naoki Urasawa Language: Japanese Duration: 25 mins (74 episodes) This is not a short show, and that very fact alone is usually enough to deter me, the longer shows often seeming to descend into either monotony (e.g. Pokemon) or develop a habit of spending far too long to go anywhere (e.g. Dragonball Z) but the initial premise was something that I couldn't pass upon indefinitely. Impressively, for a show with such a hefty run time it succeeds in always having direction; it never feels as though its meandering or that there's anything but a clear cut destination and whilst it takes its time to gradually unfold, slowly releasing further clues and adding new characters to complement the old, this gradual unfurling allows them to develop into intriguing subjects, leaving you guessing as to their motives, the past events that shaped them and perhaps most importantly, where they are he...

Title: Natural City Should be Known As: Korean Blade Runner Rating: 3.5/5 Genre: Sci-fi, Drama, Action, Romance Starring: Ji-tae Yu (Oldboy) Director: Byung-chun Min Language: Korean If you need a single phrase to summarise it, “Korean Blade Runner” fits perfectly. In fact, the director apparently made the comparison himself, and many of the DVDs have this proudly branded on the front so let it be known that it's nothing if not apt. Yet, I also feel compelled to make a Tarantino comparison; in the same way that he treads a fine line between 'homage' and 'rip-off' with many of his films this feels the same, and neither are any the worse for it. No, you should not watch this instead of the classic Ridley Scott work but instead think of it as something of an unofficial sequel further exploring the depths of his dystopian vision. It doesn't take long for the film to get under way with a rapid romp through a medical centre to find rogue combat cyborgs led ...