Lifer Movies

Title: The Inbetweeners Rating: 3.5/5 Genre: Comedy Starring: James Buckley, Blake Harrison, Joe Thomas Simon Bird Director: Ben Palmer “So smelling like an industrial accident in a Lynx factory and looking like the world's shittest boyband, we hit the town.” Unless you've been living under a rock for the past three years, or perhaps are simply not from the UK (I'm not sure how wide a release it's been given but suspect my American brothers won't hear of it until they announce they're ripping it off and creating a sub-par US version, don't even get me started on the latest atrocity known as Shameless US, ugh) then you'll have at the least heard of the tragic plight of these four school boys, muddling their way through at the bottom rung of the social ladder in their noble sexual conquests. There's the one who pretends to know everything there is to know about sex, Jay (James Buckley); the hopeless romantic, Simon (Joe Thomas); the complete

Title: War God Also Known As: Calamity / Zhan shen Should be Known As: Guan Yu Vs. The Aliens Rating: 4/5 Genre: Action, Sci-Fi, (Comedy) Starring: Ming Lun Ku, Hsin Tang, Ling-ling Hsieh Director: Hung Min Chen Language: Taiwanese Once again I have succeeded in plundering the depths of the unknown to emerge triumphant with a B-Movie classic to rank along side the infamous “Turkish Star Wars” in style; so cheap and hilariously awful that it makes the old Godzilla flicks look like a triumphant masterpiece of special effects; so poorly written that you wonder just what the writer was smoking when he came up with this idea (it was made in the 70s after all). In fact, the very premise of a film involving the legendary warrior of the Han Dynasty (China), Guan Yu, doing battle with Aliens was thought so ludicrous that it couldn't possibly actually exist. And yet, through the power of the internet, a more than 30 year old VHS rip with full subtitles has emerged to prove once an

Title: Crazed Beast Original Title: Kurutta yajû Rating: 2.5/5 Genre: Crime, Thriller (Comedy) Director: Sadao Nakajima Starring: Tsunehiko Watase, Jun Hoshino, Takuzo Kawatani Language: Japanese (Mockdubbed) I like to think that I succeed in doing my part in uncovering forgotten films of the past wherever I can, whether better left forgotten or not, but with this one I feel as though I've really outdone myself; a 70s rarity that is somewhat surprising it even managed to find its way to a DVD, even if it never left the country, which means you better believe it doesn't come with subtitles. In fact, there are probably no subtitles for it in existence and not the interest in creating them, but don't let this minor quibble trouble you for where there is a will and a potentially mentally unstable film nut there is a way. Submitted to the nicely titled “My Uploads Are Total Fucking Failures And No One Loves Me” (MUATTFANOLM) competition on the source of most of my depra