The Refrigerator

Title: The Refrigerator
Rating: 2/5
Genre: Horror
Starring: Michael Beltran, Phil Butard and Angel Caban
Director: Nicholas Jacobs
Release Date: 1991

With a motto that might as well have been so blazingly obvious as “when things go wrong, nobody suspects the refrigerator,” the title more or less gives the game away. In fact, in using said motto it would keep in line with the rest of the film in the fact that its actually not true. For one thing, it turns out the real enemy is not a refrigerator at all – the fridge just happens to be the most hungry – and likewise everyone suspects the fridge. Multiple times are they told that the fridge is evil, and you'd probably laugh it off too if it wasn't for the fact that for almost 2/3rds the run time the damn thing keeps acting up. And by acting up, I mean leaking blood on the floor, housing a miniature version of your boss who occasionally talks to you, throwing dry ice around the house whilst you sleep and trying to tempt you into its clutches with waffle mix.

But lets get what little plot actually exists out of the way; following the mysterious disappearance of the owners of a flat, the landlord agrees to lease it out cheap to the first suckers silly enough to take it, in this case Eileen and Steve Bateman. I can only assume that Patrick Bateman (Psycho) is Steve's brother. With Eileen pursuing a career in acting, Steve works hard at the office to support themselves, leaving Eileen alone for long periods of time. Fortunately, she quickly makes friends with Juan the plumber, Paolo is assistant, and some black voodoo lady we never learn anything more about than the fact she's a bit of a nut. Sadly, no sexual innuendo is implied. As things begin to go wrong, Steve starts sporting a creepy smile and the fridge randomly snaps shut on peoples fingers until eventually we learn that the fridge is the gateway to hell, possessed by Satan, and wants nothing more than to kill anything nearby, and then clean up before anyone notices the blood stained limbs in the lower vegetable compartment.

I'm sure most who would watch this was already sold by the title as I was, and thus far, I'm sure little I've said would put off those looking for some cheesy horror fun, so now's a good time to pay attention. Even with a premise as bizarre as this and a budget to suit, the ridiculous notion of an evil fridge wears thin before the film really starts. At only an hour and a half, I felt my attention wane after 20mins, and it only came back for a couple of scenes where something happened. Too much time is devoted to the couple bitching at each other until Mr. Bateman ends it with his best trollface, and too much of the fridge's time is spent doing such horrifying things as giving people cheese and cookies. Sure, there's the argument that it was never really intended to be much of a horror, but its hard to see what it is trying to be. It might be amusing if there was a joke thrown in once in a while, and it might be a decent gore flick if there was ever any actual violence. No, this isn't the worst film I've seen by a long shot, it's just a bit shit.