The Impossible Kid

Title: The Impossible Kid
Rating: 3.5/5
Genre: Action, Comedy
Starring: Weng Weng
Director: Eddie Nicart
Language: Filipino (dubbed)

The first from what I expect won't be the last of my 'film nights' streamed directly to my TV to be shared and mocked, a tale from a land of low budgets that takes liberties from James Bond and the Pink Panther and slams them together. A tale of a covert operation to thwart an evil foe who dresses like a member of the Ku Klux Klan, broadcasting himself on TV and demanding one billion peso's – or one million, he can't decide – so he can free the Phillipines. He doesn't ever really get around as to how. Standing in his way is Agent 00 of interpol, a man faced with no short order in stopping him, getting pulled from the operation due to a little mishap and a small lawsuit laid against him. Not that this small matter stops him from pursuing the matter and – ok, I'm running out of bad puns. Yes, what makes this film is the fact that its action star, Weng Weng, is about two feet tall. He's like a midget Bruce Lee.

By virtue of this fact alone, the film is hilarious. I had my doubts but there is something that always remains brilliant about a midget kicking people in the shins until they fall to their knees and he can actually reach high enough to punch them in the face; to be able to evade capture by crawling into small spaces and hide by crouching slightly on the other side of a bed, constantly surprising enemies by jumping out of suitcases and punching them in the nuts in a move that never seems to get old. Women love him, men hate him (because all women love him) and even though he rarely speaks, he always looks up with bulbous baby eyes that make you want to go aww. And then he kicks you in the crotch.

The dubbing just makes all this more hilarious; as if the Filipino guy with a strong Australian accent wasn't bad enough, they can't seem to pick guys from the same country, each one just begging you to guess which accent he'll sport before he speaks, be it English, Scottish, American, or the aforementioned Australian. All it needed was an Irishman and a Mexican and it'd be perfect. Alright, so the plot might not make a whole lot of sense, there's a distinct lack of nudity, the guy donning the KKK uniform might be a little bit too much, the editing is pretty poor, the sound awful (his miniature motorbike sounds like a RC car!) and the direction non-existent, but this is hardly the sort of film one should be taking seriously. This is a film about midget Filipino James Bond who uses kung-fu to thwart the KKK to the 'Pink Panther' theme tune. I think you already know whether or not you want to watch this film.