Basic Slaughter


Title: Basic Slaughter (2007)
Rating: 2/5
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Starring: Ryan Sullivan, Henrique Couto, Steve Rudzinski
Director: Steve Rudzinski
Duration: 61mins
Trailer

“Dude, you’re dating a night elf.”
“Yeah, but she’s so hot.”


Enter the super no-budget slasher epic Basic Slaughter. The title says it all. Well, sort of. Director Steve Rudzinski is the man behind the production company Dark Mullet Cinema that specializes in the comical webisode series VGSpoofs and a number of dirt poor movies (including the oh so curiously titled KKK Vs. Neo Nazis), and his purpose behind Basic Slaughter was to give the viewer the only thing worth seeing in a slasher movie: carnage. No backstory. No character development. No continuity. Just ________ (I know you can fill in the blank). What follows is a series of three segments filled with mindless chit chat, each segment wrapping up with a killer disposing of all the characters. However, there are some unexpected surprises in store.

The flick starts out very nicely with a young woman getting completely undressed for a shower. Sadly, the movie does not deliver any follow up titillation, unless you count the sadistic tease of a lesbian scene. After the endless, metalcore-blasting opening credits, the first segment begins: three friends playing video games only to be killed when they leave the apartment. The second segment features three other friends planning a movie night and talking about the most random things before likewise being slain. Finally, the third and longest running segment features a bunch of friends at A Nightmare on Elm Street movie marathon house party being picked off one by one by the masked nemesis. All the segments are tied together by a news correspondent played by Henrique Couto, who you may remember from Chris Seaver’s gross-out quicky Filthy McNastiest: Apocalypse Fuck!

Basic Slaughter was shot on digital video and has all the look and feel of an hour long YouTube video, which makes sense given the director’s history; and the acting is incredibly amateurish, which makes sense given that there are no actors involved. The editing, while smooth, seems like the editor (Rudzinski) pieced segment 2 blindfolded as each shot has the characters talking about something completely different from the previous shot. Oh and this movie falls prey to the most damaging of plagues homegrown motion pictures face: the argument scene. For some reason not a single shot-on-video movie gets these scenes right. The arguments always last far too long with the actors simply yelling at each other and annoying the hell out of the viewer. Makes me thankful for the FF>> button. There are a few somewhat effective gore scenes including a chainsaw disembowelment and a rough decapitation, but none that really jump out of the restrained budget. Lastly, the killer in question is a black-dressed ninja with a two-foot machete and kind of reminds me of the black-dressed ninja with a samurai sword in the equally low-budget 70’s schlockfest Blood Shack (aka The Chooper).

Aside from the initial full-frontal cheese shot in the opening scene, Basic Slaughter offers another pleasant surprise: there is a lot of humor, and most of it ACTUALLY WORKS. Yes, my fellow cinematic masochists, this movie is funneh. From start to finish Basic Slaughter assaults us with jokes aplenty ranging from World of Warcraft sex to other internet lulz (IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER! and WHAT? 9000!). I have to say that even with repeated viewings I still find myself LMAO. Not saying that you will, though. The non-interwebz humor is also well-delivered at times. A final plus is the abundance of unique characters. Bad actors or not, this always helps a movie. But I do wish the shower girl stayed around a little longer.

The director stated in an interview that the budget was just about $1000 and that he didn’t know if the movie was worth it or not, but in my opinion it’s a fine watch. It’s not too long, it provides a lot of laughs, and it does everything it intended to do regardless of the fact that it was made by a bunch of friends in their late teens/early twenties.

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