Sharks in Venice

Title: Sharks in Venice
Rating: 2/5
Genre: Action, Horror
Starring: Stephen Baldwin, Vanessa Johansson
Director: Danny Lerner

suppose the title says it all. At least, it would if sharks were of significance to the plot. In fact, the whole issue of there being sharks in the waters of Venice never actually becomes resolved further than a line at the end by the protagonist saying “I know, there are no sharks in Venice” with a knowing wink from the cop. Instead, what this film is really about is the Mafia striving to discover the missing Medici treasure, hidden somewhere underneath the Venetian canals, accidentally stumbled upon by our hapless hero in a bid to escape sharks terrorising the waters. Sharks, as it turns out, that were trapped in the canals by the same Mafia man who was unhappy with other divers on his turf; a moronic move of epic proportions given that it also means his own men become fish food in his quest for the fortune which nobody else really seems to give a damn about.

Naturally the only woman of note (if Scarlett Johannson was Cinderella, that would make her older sister...) in the story is kidnapped and held hostage until he can show his buddies the location of the treasure. Double crossing becomes an inevitability and the henchmen synchronise suits before going on mission so that amidst the tourists they stick out like a sore thumb. The recently departed (he's left the forums, he hasn't died. I really do mean departed in the literal sense, not the sensitive 'he snuffed it' sense) reviewer Basel DB would have an absolute field day with the historical inaccuracies here too; I'm no swot on Italian history but I do wonder how King Louis XIVth could have anything have anything to do with a 13th century war for treasure when he himself reigned in the 17th century. This aside, the mystery of limbs re-appearing and the same footage from the discovery channel used for nearly every action sequence – the same footage seen in 'raging sharks,' along with every other shark B-Movie it would seem – is still further trumped by the fact much of the dialogue occurs underwater by talking into their watches. With breathing apparatus shoved in their mouths.

If it already isn't clear, we have something of a corker on our hands here but not one entirely without its merits. The mild amusement of watching a slightly overweight man, who I can only imagine got the job for being brothers with someone famous, run around and pretend to be 'Indiana Jones' or the finalé involving a shark pit that was only a few laser beams short of an 'Austin Powers' scene give the film some much needed saving. The plot for all its holes is simple and effective, and most importantly keeps a decent pace throughout the film; from the opening all the way to the end there is rarely a stretch without a bit of fun, even if it only involves two irrelevant drunks becoming the next meal. Oh, and no, nobody actually does get that treasure after all.